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Worst Pizza Ever

I found an article over at the Matador Network entitled “The 5 worst pizzas in the world” and generally felt that they didn’t look that bad (perhaps excluding the first one pictured) poorly executed but conceptually within the realm of pizzas I know and love, particularly the final two.

Epic Meal Time has been a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine as of late and I just watched their first episode, which was originally entitled “Worst Pizza Ever” and later changed to “Fast Food Pizza”. It’s amusing to see how it all started – before narrowing their focus to hip-hop slang, feigned ‘manliness’, bacon and Jack Daniel’s – but their final product isn’t that wacky compared to a lot of the pizzas sold in Korea.

Some of them I’ve never been able to wrap my head around, though I’ve gotten used to seeing corn and sweet potato as viable toppings. For a typical example, Domino’s latest offering is ‘Sweet Hidden Edge Pizza’ with a stuffed crust filled with mozzarella cheese and mashed sweet potatoes, and topped with mushrooms, corn, potatoes, bacon and mayonnaise.

via Dominos.co.kr

This doesn’t even seem strange to me anymore, and yet the other option of a mashed potato and herb cream cheese-filled crust still does somehow.

Pizza Hut just recently unleashed a ‘Crunchy Roast Beef Pizza’ containing among other things roast beef, smoked ham, mayonnaise and potato chips.

via PizzaHut.co.kr 

I’ve eaten pizzas like the first one and found them interesting and even delicious in their own way. The second isn’t even much of a shocker. Being here for an extended period of time, I can appreciate the fact that Koreans have an entirely different concept of what pizza is and what it should and could be. However, a couple of weeks back there was a flyer posted outside my door advertising what I believe to be the most unappetizing looking ‘food’ ever to be dubbed a pizza. It comes from the creative masterminds at Pizza Etang and is marketed as being in the style of an affluent English brunch (영국식 브런치의 풍요로움이 그대로), and contains sausage, bacon, mushrooms, french fries, baked beans, with a sunny-side up egg placed smack dab in the middle, not to mention some sort of crunchy tempura crust.

Beat that, World!

 
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Posted by on October 10, 2011 in Seoul Days

 

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I Love Pussy <3

Daiso has decided to increase its coolness by several hundred percent by selling these encased chopstick spoon sets with “I Love Pussy” on each of the enclosed pieces.

Sets are available in both blue and pink.

I’m certain that internet searches of this phrase are sure to return similar, if not identical, results.

 
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Posted by on August 25, 2011 in Konglish/콩글리시, Seoul Days

 

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Korea’s got Beef with US Beef

Clair took me on a surprise trip to Gwangwhamun on Monday night and to see the famed ‘lanterns on the river’ that appear there every May leading up to Buddha’s birthday. Check out these pics:

And a huge one standing on the corner obscuring an outdoor public hip-hop show

Just before we were about to leave we got a phone call from the police asking us to move our car. We downed the takoyaki we were carrying and rushed over. I glazed over this controversy in a post last week, but it turns out that a lot of Koreans are quite worked up over the impending lift of the US beef ban. On the way in we had seen a bunch of protesters waving flags and yelling slogans about American beef and the corresponding downfall of Korean society it’s sure to cause.

In total, I guess there were enough people there to fill three buses, because when we got to the car there were three police buses sitting there, preparing to round up the protesters, and, I’m assuming, lock them up.

I’d missed out on a much larger protest late last week, which has since been deemed an illegal act, hence the arrests (I’m assuming) on Monday:

Yesterday there were a bunch of people in Sinchon Station gathering petitioners. The newspapers have been running cover stories about it. And today I saw a political cartoon in the Hankyoreh, which I wish I understood better:

A ghost story… Basically expressing the fear that America will send over second rate beef that its domestic consumers didn’t eat. The printing on the cow reads something to the effect of “Americans haven’t eat me for over 30 months”, which is part of the deal. Cuts from cattle 30 months old and younger are allowed first, but after US ups it’s safety regulations, they will accept beef from older calves.

Not too sure about the other two. Though there is a mention of mad cow disease (광우병).

Farmers are also worried about their revenues, but I doubt it’s going to effect them much at first. Korea can’t self-sustain its needs anyway, and if Korea wants a free trade agreement with the US then they’re going to have to buy some of George W’s beef. Suck it up already!

 
 

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Another piece of Korean history burned to ashes

What a tragedy…
Last night some ajosshi bum burned down Namdaemun, the 600 year old wooden gate which marked the south border of the old city.

There are a ton of photos out in the media.

This one was snatched from the Korea Herald website.

Namdaemun Fire

Here’s a historical photo tribute
which links to what are possibly the most striking shots
coming from a waegookin whose flickr link I’ve posted below
Namdaemun Fire February 10, 2008

A huge loss for the nation…

They say it will take three years to reconstruct…

another soon to be replica.

 
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Posted by on February 11, 2008 in Seoul Days

 

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Korea Presidential Election 2007

Thus far I haven’t found the campaign season very enjoyable. Even though I live on the nineteenth floor when stumpers appear in the side of small trucks, making speeches and blaring loud music at seven in the morning, I still get woken up. However, the election takes place tomorrow and that means no work for me! Whoo-hoo!

I haven’t been paying much attention, short of asking my girlfriend who she’s voting for, because I’ve been trying to stay up to date on American politics. Alas, m’lady appears to be siding with front-runner Lee Myung-bak, probably because (not in spite of) the fact that there is so much 스캔들/scandal surrounding him. Lee may even be celebrating his victory tomorrow with an investigation.

lee-myung-bak.jpg

Here’s a satirical photo of Mr. Lee snagged from Mens et Manus, who also notes a resemblance between Mr. Lee and Marilyn Manson, which I think is a bit of a stretch.

Above is a summary of Lee Myung-bak’s campaign and the Korean campaign style in general. There are twelve candidates in all and each is assigned a number. He’s candidate #2. Supporters dance to an old song rewritten with lyrics that state the platform of the candidate and go for the hard sell. Oh yes, the old song and dance routine.

A representative, if not the candidate himself, stands in the cut-out side of a van and shouts slogans and speeches over a loudspeaker. This sort of stuff is happening all over the city at the moment, likely all over the country. I have yet to see this guy in the bra and panties though. I guess you can’t choose your supporters.

 
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Posted by on December 18, 2007 in Politicklish, Seoul Days

 

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N-core! N-core! N-core!

All up I have 15 gigs booked for the month of December. There were four this past weekend. I’ve been amazed at the crowd response, notably the fact that people continue to call for encores at insane hours of the night. For instance, my last gig on Saturday night didn’t stop until after 4:30 AM and a couple people were still shouting for more. To my never-ending amusement, Koreans pronounce encore ‘n-core’. “N-core! N-core! N-core!”

Here’s a flyer for the gigs I’m playing as part of Vadim & The New Regime entitled “The 12 Gigs of Christmas”:

12 Gigs of Christmas

I haven’t even finished writing all of my Christmas cards yet! Yikes. Hopefully those people will get them by New Year’s!

 
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Posted by on December 18, 2007 in Seoul Days, What I'm Up To

 

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Toilet is Life

Korea is famous for the widespread Christian missionary work of its people. However, many people may be unaware of their role in spreading a gospel of another sort. The Korea Toilet Association hopes to create a ‘toilet revolution’ the world over with “Toilet is Life” as its motto. Check out this article featured in Korea IT Times magazine, the magazine my girlfriend writes for: Unprecedented Toilet Revolution. (I get a cookie for each view I bring to the site (as a further side note I was searching for images of 쿠키 and it seems Koreans have a penchant for naming their dogs after the famed snack)).

toilets with culture

It’s a certain niche in foreign aid that no other country is quite so adamant about. Somehow world hunger and world peace seem to overshadow this issue. Korea to the rescue! It will be a cruel joke when toilets reach the starving millions in Africa before food. At least they’ll have a nice place to sit.

One 아저씨 (ajosshi), the chairman of the WTA, has gone so far as to dub himself Mr. Toilet. English slogans are strewn throughout the Korean website, but the proverb of the future that we’ll all soon be uttering is “Toilets are our Faces”.

toilets with welfare

I don’t feel Mr. Toilet can claim mission accomplished yet, even within the bounds of his own country. I still come upon squatters on a regular basis. A couple of the members suffered at my band’s last gig down in Cheongju a few weeks back when nature called, and they were forced to come ass-to-air (as opposed to face-to-face, see toilets are our faces, squatters aren’t) hovering over a dirty squatter and testing the fitness of their cerebellums. There are still many scattered throughout Seoul as well.

My other problem with this is that toilets are a luxury, and just as with cars, the dissemination of this technology can have negative effects on the world’s natural resources. For an extreme example, if we got everyone in China and India shitting on toilets and flushing them with fresh water on a regular basis, the world’s water supply would growing a few shades darker after too long.

I could get into a whole mess of bad puns with this but I’m short on time. There could very well be a follow up on this though as Clair is heading to the World Toilet Association General Assembly later this month, and, even if I’m unable to accompany her, I’m sure there’ll be a lot of material to disseminate to y’all.

 
 

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