Author Archives: metamorphallic

Can’t wait to see this one!

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Posted by on January 12, 2012 in Seoul Days


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Worst Pizza Ever

I found an article over at the Matador Network entitled “The 5 worst pizzas in the world” and generally felt that they didn’t look that bad (perhaps excluding the first one pictured) poorly executed but conceptually within the realm of pizzas I know and love, particularly the final two.

Epic Meal Time has been a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine as of late and I just watched their first episode, which was originally entitled “Worst Pizza Ever” and later changed to “Fast Food Pizza”. It’s amusing to see how it all started – before narrowing their focus to hip-hop slang, feigned ‘manliness’, bacon and Jack Daniel’s – but their final product isn’t that wacky compared to a lot of the pizzas sold in Korea.

Some of them I’ve never been able to wrap my head around, though I’ve gotten used to seeing corn and sweet potato as viable toppings. For a typical example, Domino’s latest offering is ‘Sweet Hidden Edge Pizza’ with a stuffed crust filled with mozzarella cheese and mashed sweet potatoes, and topped with mushrooms, corn, potatoes, bacon and mayonnaise.


This doesn’t even seem strange to me anymore, and yet the other option of a mashed potato and herb cream cheese-filled crust still does somehow.

Pizza Hut just recently unleashed a ‘Crunchy Roast Beef Pizza’ containing among other things roast beef, smoked ham, mayonnaise and potato chips.


I’ve eaten pizzas like the first one and found them interesting and even delicious in their own way. The second isn’t even much of a shocker. Being here for an extended period of time, I can appreciate the fact that Koreans have an entirely different concept of what pizza is and what it should and could be. However, a couple of weeks back there was a flyer posted outside my door advertising what I believe to be the most unappetizing looking ‘food’ ever to be dubbed a pizza. It comes from the creative masterminds at Pizza Etang and is marketed as being in the style of an affluent English brunch (영국식 브런치의 풍요로움이 그대로), and contains sausage, bacon, mushrooms, french fries, baked beans, with a sunny-side up egg placed smack dab in the middle, not to mention some sort of crunchy tempura crust.

Beat that, World!

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Posted by on October 10, 2011 in Seoul Days


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Sorry, I did it on accident.

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Posted by on September 23, 2011 in Editting


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Chuseok Travel Nightmares

I was hoping to get out of the country for Chuseok aka Korean Thanksgiving, but a lot of Koreans got the same idea first. Flight prices for those four days (Saturday-Tuesday) are astronomical. Check out this handy calendar price guide from Cathay Pacific Airways:

Note the prices for flights returning on Tuesday. The highlighted selection would have been satisfactory save the fact that my girlfriend has to work on Friday and the only flight available for that day leaves at 9AM. Perhaps with a bit more foresight prices would have been a bit more reasonable, but the fact that nowadays a lot of Koreans no longer have to go to the countryside paired with the fact that this is the longest holiday for most Koreans, makes it a difficult time to travel anywhere. There are enough Koreans moving in and out of the country at this time that travel is ill-advised. I’ll be staying put especially since my grand exit from the country is coming up in a few short weeks.

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Posted by on September 1, 2011 in Seoul Days


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I Love Pussy <3

Daiso has decided to increase its coolness by several hundred percent by selling these encased chopstick spoon sets with “I Love Pussy” on each of the enclosed pieces.

Sets are available in both blue and pink.

I’m certain that internet searches of this phrase are sure to return similar, if not identical, results.


Posted by on August 25, 2011 in Konglish/콩글리시, Seoul Days


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Irkutsk’s Philosopher Poet

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Posted by on April 19, 2011 in Seoul Days


Check out this band!

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Posted by on November 24, 2010 in Seoul Days


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Seoul Shanty Town

Trying to recommit myself to this blog lest it become abandoned. It’s already been a long time coming.

These makeshift houses are located directly behind the school at which I work, located in Gangnam-gu, Seoul. Gangnam is home to both the greatest number of rich and poor people in Korea which is no surprise as the latter supposedly make a living leeching off of the former.

Note: click pictures for full-view. WordPress’ layout is annoying, as the composition display varies greatly from the viewing display.


I still don’t understand why they would need three satellite dishes. Are they stealing internet or cable?

These pictures were taken in March of 2009 but the place looks almost exactly the same. Doubtless a few pieces of rotten timber have been replaced but it’s pretty safe to say that not much will change within the next decade as this is located in an advantageous area that is both hilly and close to a stream/designated park area, thus seemingly unsuitable for further development.

It has been said that some students in the school actually live here and while I wouldn’t doubt it given the proximity of the two, which is literally feet away (these were taken from a window within the school), I have not been able to pick out any particular student as coming from there. Now that I think of it, one kid does regularly stink of propane, which may be a direct indication. Most of the residents of the area seem to be elderly or late middle aged and they are the only ones that I’ve ever seen outside of the residences, though that’s naturally within school hours. Recently, I’ve noticed middle and high school aged boys have started smoking in the woods behind the school acting secretive and cool, doubtless a right of passage.


Posted by on September 15, 2010 in Seoul Days


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Vaginal Secretion

This poster has been hanging for months at some sort of  sales booth inside Noksapyeong Station


Are you irritating about

remaining blood stains?

The era has come when even inside

of women’s bodies could be cleaned

The internal parts of women’s

bodies must be pure.

Now you can clean inside of

vagina with Suchaehwa

You can be free from smell of

vaginal secretion.

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Posted by on September 20, 2009 in Konglish/콩글리시


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